Friday, June 22, 2012

Potty training saga...

Two great potty training days in a row and then came yesterday.  The first day of summer.  We were off on a family trip to visit some friends in Murrieta when Scarlett refused to go potty before we got in the car.  Absolutely freaked out.  The freak out turned into a pee-pee accident and only furthered the crying and refusal to put on big girl undies. When we asked why she didn't want to put them on she said "she was afraid". I am so terrified of scaring Scarlett away from the original excitement of the potty that I butted in with my opinion that we just put her in a diaper and get going.  Mommy fail number one: butting in when Chris was trying to prove a point.  Scarlett was being unreasonable and as frustrating as it was for both Chris and I to try to calm her down, he was taking the patient parent approach and I took the "I give up, just do what she wants approach".  We both got in the car in silence, knowing that I was frustrated and he was disappointed. I looked over at him and apologized for butting in, knowing that this battle was one worth fighting but I just gave up.  I let my selfish desire for comfort and peace, however attained, overrule the parenting basics of teaching your kid that whining and crying does not get you what you want.

This is something that we are constantly trying to be aware of with Scarlett.  I have little patience for her refusal to use her words when trying to communicate a need or want.  She has been talking in sentences since she was a year and a half and by now she could practically write a book with her crazy, out of nowhere correct use of vocabulary. For her to point to something and say "uh, uh" and expect me to get it for her, unacceptable. So yesterday, when she completely lost her two year old mind and was unable to calm down after an hour of daddy's patient and persistent communication efforts, I broke our parenting rule and gave Scarlett a little glimpse at the victory of battle. 

Once in Murrieta, we let the girls run around in the sun, naked, most of the day and Scarlett proceeded to pee in the potty three separate times.  Although she won the "put my diaper on" battle and I moved down the authority totem pole one notch...the excitement of potty training still remains strong. And Chris and I have come to the conclusion that parenting is hard, but it can be easier if we just back eachother up and realize each new decision is going to be trial and error.  All we can do is hope we are making the right decisions and that God's grace is with us as we battle through them.  Here is to the power of prayer for the next 20 years of parenting life. 


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