I'm not going to lie, at the first glance of her I had a brief moment of insanity when I thought "I could do this again". I remembered the unique anticipation in those first moments of life where I wondered what is this little person is going to be like, what will they love, what color hair will they have, what food will they absolutely refuse to eat, or how will this new personality change the dynamics of our family? It was a magical moment experiencing the physical presence of something that was just moments before a concept. When the idea of parenting a child became an immediate reality and I could finally imagine all the life that dangles before it. All the previously unspoken worries flooded in alongside overwhelming dreams.
Chris has numerous times tried to entice me into having a fourth child by reminding me of the beauty of these moments. The idea that we can create another life and meet another personality, watch another human interact with brothers and sisters. Invite another soul into our future stories. But then I remember the 5 months of tag team parenting because I'm too sick to manage anything more than a walk to the closest bathroom, the modified gestational diabetic diet and hourly finger pricks, the raging hormones that turn me into a very un-nice person, and most importantly the years of sleep training that follow the no small task of pushing a tiny human out of a very small space. Needless to say...I'm feeling very content with three.