I snuck into your room last night to catch the last little peek of your sweet face before my day officially came to a close...and you are the lightest baby sleeper I have ever met. One kiss to your forehead brought you to life with subtle moans and vicious rolling. I wanted to stay and watch as you put yourself back to sleep but was afraid that your eyes might pop open from their dreamy state and catch a quick glimpse of me standing in the dark watching over you, you would flash that toothless smile, my heart would melt, I would have to pick you up and then we would both be lacking the precious sleep that we needed. So I silently turned from your crib and shut your door knowing that I would be awakened by your coo's of hunger in a couple of hours any way.
It is in the early mornings when I am half awake holding your warm body, limp with sleep, close to mine that I realize I love you more than I ever thought I could love another human being. I let go of the overwhelming desire to continue sleeping and just allow myself to be with you fully. It is just you and me. Your eyes stay closed as your tiny mouth does the work, your soft little hand rests peacefully on my exposed skin, the only noise is our breathing which almost always becomes one sweet sound in the still midnight air.
I pray for you in these times. I pray for your father and I that we will be able to shield you from the unpredictability of life (knowing full well that this is impossible), that we will encourage you to be your own person and guide you with wisdom to make your own decisions. I pray that you will know the vulnerability of love and the richness of grace. That you will fear God but feel his presence deeply as your loving Father.
I look forward to spending many more nights with you so silent and still in my arms, looking down at your porcelain face, thanking God for the blessings he has giving to our little family of three. Thank you for coming into my world and showing me the meaning of life.
