Three little words...

Aug 23, 2011

can break my heart, calm her tears and make me smile within the seconds it takes for her to squeeze them from beneath her pacifier and whisper them into my ear .  "I want daddy" she murmurs.

Scarlett was hard to console before bedtime last night.  I gently laid her in the crib and rubbed her back till I assumed she was sufficiently soothed, only to find her eyes pop open and her mouth let out a whine as soon as the release of pressure from my palm hinted my intention of leaving the room. I placed my hand on the small of her back and rocked her little body back and forth till her eyelids drooped and her breathing slowed.  Apparently she has been practicing the "fake sleep" move before we get her out of the crib in the mornings, because the moment I was convinced she fell asleep and made my intention of tip toeing out of the room clear, she shot up, stared me straight in the eye and let the waterworks begin.  I picked her up and held her tight, telling her to take a breath, to calm down and that I was right here. She looked at me, held me tight, took out her pacifier and softly whispered "I want daddy". 

Bed time is usually my thing.  Scarlett and I have it down to a science.  Daddy comes in, we read a book, we say our prayers, we kiss goodnight, daddy leaves, she drinks her bottle and messes up my hair, I say "I love you" and kiss her forehead, lay her down in the crib, give her her baby doggy, cover her with a blanket,  tip toe out and close the door.  15 minutes of bed time routine and I am a free mommy.  Yesterday I decided Scarlett is almost two and the bottle before bed thing needs to go.  So I gave her a bottle while sitting in the living room (I figure I will slowly transition the bottle to a sippy cup), played with daddy, went to the bedroom and resumed what I assumed would be another easy night time routine.  Except that I forgot that I am the mother of an "almost" two year old and changing routines is NOT that easy.  Her world had officially been rocked and I was the one that caused the damage.

I smiled as I looked into Scarlett's tear stained face, told her I was going to lay her down and get her daddy, she said "okay" and continued to cry.  Chris came out five minutes later, leaving silence behind him.  All he had to do was talk to her, tell her he was there, calm her down, tell her that he loves her and that he would see her in the morning.  She said "okay" and drifted off to sleep.  There is a communication between Chris and Scarlett (especially during the summer months) that I will never have and on this evening there was nothing that I could say or do to comfort her, I told her all the same things, I gave her all the same comforts, but this night she knew what she wanted.  "I want Daddy" she murmured.

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