Ever since having my first faint spell two months ago I knew there was something weird going on with this pregnancy.
When I got the call from my doctors office saying "your sugar levels for the three hour glucose test were high, please call the endocrinologist", I laughed out loud thinking 1) what the hell is an endocrinologist and 2) gestational diabetes...? To be honest my knowledge of diabetes in general is very very minimal, let alone the affects that it can and will have on myself and my unborn child.
I meet with the endocrinologist on Monday and my mind is racing with concerns and questions. What can I eat, what can't I eat? How will this effect my body long term? How will it effect my little boy? Is he healthy? Is there anything I can do to make him more healthy? Will this return? If I have another child can I expect to be diabetic then too? Is this a forever change in my body? But the question that weighs on me most is...why? Why is this happening? Why is my body reacting this way? Did I do something wrong, eat the wrong things, not exercise enough, gain to much weight too fast? Was there any way to keep this from happening? Why?
I wrote this post about my mindset this pregnancy before having any idea of what was causing the severe fatigue and frequent feeling that I am going to pass out. Now that I have the beginnings of an answer to why this pregnancy has felt more taxing than my pregnancy with Scarlett, I still feel no relief. I know that I am probably just causing more worry than necessary, but right now I am anxious for answers and even more anxious to meet this baby boy. To hopefully kiss his healthy chubby cheeks and know that these 9 months have been totally and completely worth it all.
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