I have officially been a stay at home mom since August 1st, but have only spent a total of three weeks with the kids, managing story times, grocery trips and impromptu play dates. In these three weeks I have formed routine, a completely different bond with my kids, and I have truly enjoyed every day managing my home and our very minimal social calendar. So when Monday came and Scarlett dressed up in her uniform and I loaded the kids into the car I was immediately nervous and sad. I was letting go of a little piece of my life.
As I reflected on Scarlett and this huge step, I realized that leaving for work always felt like I was leaving her, but dropping her off at preschool felt like she was leaving me. I felt a distinctly different emotional response that I never felt when dropping her off at her Godparents or driving away with my mom at the kitchen table. This is the beginning of her and the beginning of us as separates. The beginning of a change in my prayers for her future.
I swelled with pride and nervous anticipation when she walked into her new classroom, and with a hesitant confidence, put her back pack in her cubby, put her name stick in the basket for attendance and took a seat on the rug with the other kids. I gave her a wink and knew that we would be okay, at least until next year when she enters kindergarten and I have to actually let her go. Full time school sounds like a step I am definitely not prepared to take.
I love this girl and I am so proud of who she is and who she is becoming.
