Yesterday...

Yesterday was my birthday.  Sitting in the empty banquet room of Taps at the hour in which I used to think that only old people ate so they could make it home in time for bed by seven, I realized my life has officially changed.  Birthdays no longer consist of long weekends away, working on a much needed tan and spending way too much money on extravagant dinners.  Birthdays now mean, putting Scarlett down for a nap, folding laundry, feeding, running errands and trying to squeeze in one last snooze before rushing out the door to shove some sort of food in our mouths, knowing that Scarlett’s world comes

crashing down promptly at seven o’clock.  So there we sat, our little family of three, laughing, playing, sharing food and waiting till the clock struck seven.  Our dinner ended with me shoveling fresh from the oven soufflé in my mouth, quieting Scarlett by walking out of the restaurant, gracefully avoiding our fear of dirty looks from fellow dinners and the unfair judgment that we are negligent parents, and leaving Chris with the bill.  Sitting outside Taps with Scarlett playing on my lap was the perfect ending to the perfect birthday with the perfect realization that change can be a good thing.

Up close and personal

Time to Value

That's Scarlett in unbearably adorable knit sweater #2 from Grandma. When she was born my Grandma knit her the same thing in yellow, but she grew like a chia pet and it started looking more like a high fashion life vest than a cozy sweater. One Sunday afternoon when my grandparents were visiting we mentioned how sad we were that she could no longer wear it. That Thursday sitting on our doorstep was a package addressed to "Pumpkin" with her new sweater.

It's crazy how much some one's time means to me when they give it to my child. My grandma worked her hands for hours to produce something my daughter wears to keep her warm when out to breakfast, sitting in the frigid foyer at Church or meandering through the park, twice. She could have bought something Carters made or OshKosh or whoever else mass produces these things, but she didn't. She did comparatively menial work to make something beautiful and full of unspeakable value because she loves her granddaughter. I hope Scarlett grows up to value her time so highly. To give it to others even when they're not around. I love that my friends and family give their time to my daughter. They babysit her, play with her, hug and kiss her. But beyond that, they pray for her, make her things, tell stories about her to others. They give time when there's no immediate consequence; her smile, laugh or my thanks. You guys are awesome. Seriously. She doesn't even know what time is and you're already teaching her how to use it well, educating her that time is the most important thing you can give anyone, even in their absence.

A letter to Scarlett

You are seven months old today.  My love for you continues to blossom as I watch you conquer each stage of life.  It was this month that for the first time I looked at you with fear, realizing that you will not be our curious baby girl forever. You are starting to talk more, to mimic the sounds that your dad and I are constantly forcing you to make, mama, dada.  You say “dada” when you are playing and “mama” when you are crying, although I am positive you still do not know the meaning of either one. You have been sitting up and playing on your own for a couple of months, but I not longer have to be the hawk over your shoulder to catch you if you fall.  You have your first tooth, one little white bud that you will not show off unless you are laughing.  You still refuse to be on your belly or use your arms for anything other than putting a toy into your mouth.  You are strong so I sit with you every night and encourage you to crawl to the toy that is just beyond your reach and you stare at me with that look in your eye that says “ Don’t push me, I am completely happy in this stage”.  And the truth is, so am I.  To just sit with you, watching you graze from one toy to the next, is pure perfection. 

Your personality is taking form, as your laughter increases so does your demand for attention. You seem to flourish around your father. There is something about the noises he makes and the tickles he gives that make you laugh straight from your belly.  I am at peace when watching your relationship with him grow, knowing that the two of you will always have a bond that I will never be a part of.    

I still look forward to the end of the day when you and I create a unique love of our own, one that can never be penetrated and will take us through our years as mother and daughter.  I hold you in my arms, kiss your forehead and sing you a song as your eyes slowly drift off to sleep and I realized regardless of age, you will always be my curious little girl. 

A walk in the park

It was a beautiful day for a stroll in the park...
we met up with the Kelly's and let the kids run wild!
Good times were had by all...

A little love from Nora

Chris taught Holden how to make an invisible cape...

all they needed was the perfect leaf...

let the search begin

It is hard work relaxing in the park...Scarlett didn't waste any time making herself comfortable

Picnic time with daddy

Chris spent his first full day as a stay at home dad last week...Scarlett loved the one on one with dad!

Our weekend

I love fourth of July weekend.  It always feels like the perfect kick-off for the summer. 

Here are some pictures from our weekend...

 Friday...

I was working all day Friday and Chris had a really important golf weekend away with the boys planned so our dear friend Erica offered to help babysit for the day!  Scarlett had a blast.

 

I came home that night to find this on the door step...my long awaited

anniversary gift. 

The package came wrapped with a little crochet doll and a "thank you" post card...really unique

(With much anticipation I waited till Chris came home on Saturday night to open the gift with him...so forgive me for jumping ahead and showing you a picture of my leather themed gift).  A red leather bracelet from Peru.

Saturday...
Chris was still out of town on Saturday so I spent the day with my family...

 

Breakfast with the grands (and the great-grand), please note how all of the plates are pushed far away from Scarlett, she is in the grabby stage.  

Lots of play time with Granny...

and with Grandma...

and we can't forget Dexter. 

She moves so much it is impossible to get an un-blury "look, I'm playing" picture

 Sunday... (it's Independence Day...let the Summer begin) 

Swim Time...

 

Play time...

Perfect ending to a perfect weekend!

Weekend alone

I woke Saturday morning and rolled over to face a vast cold open space of nothing... Chris was gone this weekend and this was the first time I was by myself with Scarlett overnight.  I usually wake in the middle of the night, roused from my deep sleep by his hot breath sticking to my face and promptly roll over to escape, but for some reason I woke up missing his warm air in the bed next to me...I felt so alone.  I longed to embrace his breath and make it my own, to roll over and wrap my arm around his chest for warmth.  I know this is super dramatic for one night away, but on this one Saturday morning, laying still and staring longingly at the empty space beside me, it hit me that I am lonely with out him.

There was just something that was missing from this Saturday morning.  There was no one to enjoy the first fits of laughter coming from Scarlett's sleepy mouth with, no one to play rock, paper, scissors to "win" the chance to crawl from under the warmth of our bedding and change her morning diaper, no one to look over at with sleep lingering in the corner of their eyes and discuss the list of "to do's" for the day.  There was just me and Scarlett..and although we still enjoyed the first light of the day with each other, our laughter wasn't as bright and playtime wasn't as memorable.

So I kept myself busy and waited till I could hear footsteps on the stairs, keys in the door and the familiar voice of my husband saying "I'm home" and in that moment the uneasiness of his absence melted and I was no longer alone.


(Sorry for all of the wordy posts lately...there are plenty of pictures on the way!)

A letter to Scarlett

I snuck into your room last night to catch the last little peek of your sweet face before my day officially came to a close...and you are the lightest baby sleeper I have ever met.  One kiss to your forehead brought you to life with subtle moans and vicious rolling.  I wanted to stay and watch as you put yourself back to sleep but was afraid that your eyes might pop open from their dreamy state and catch a quick glimpse of me standing in the dark watching over you, you would flash that toothless smile, my heart would melt, I would have to pick you up and then we would both be lacking the precious sleep that we needed.  So I silently turned from your crib and shut your door knowing that I would be awakened by your coo's of hunger in a couple of hours any way.  

It is in the early mornings when I am half awake holding your warm body, limp with sleep, close to mine that I realize I love you more than I ever thought I could love another human being.  I let go of the overwhelming desire to continue sleeping and just allow myself to be with you fully.  It is just you and me.  Your eyes stay closed as your tiny mouth does the work, your soft little hand rests peacefully on my exposed skin, the only noise is our breathing which almost always becomes one sweet sound in the still midnight air. 

I pray for you in these times.  I pray for your father and I that we will be able to shield you from the unpredictability of life (knowing full well that this is impossible), that we will encourage you to be your own person and guide you with wisdom to make your own decisions. I pray that you will know the vulnerability of love and the richness of grace. That you will fear God but feel his presence deeply as your loving Father. 

I look forward to spending many more nights with you so silent and still in my arms, looking down at your porcelain face,  thanking God for the blessings he has giving to our little family of three. Thank you for coming into my world and showing me the meaning of life.

Summer fun

It's finally summer in the Becher household...every weekend is a three day weekend! Chris is done teaching and coaching for the summer and I have Mondays off...so we finally have time to relax (and get things done) together. 

Here is a glimpse into the beginning of the many summer fun days to come...

Breakfast stop with mom and dad...

Lunch time and walk to get frozen yogurt with the Kelly's...Nora generously donated her hat for this picture, while exclaiming "she looks like a captain"...

 A little nap time...

A little play time...

and a little lovin'!  

Best kick-off to summer fun ever!